What Manchester United will look like in 2025 playing in the Super League

“With the first pick of the Super League draft, Manchester United select…”

The Americanisation of football is here, and after a bumpy ride which has seen 50 per cent of players quit to play in the UEFA competitions, United are rebuilding.

It’s 2025 and the Super League is in full flow. Tottenham have become the first team to become relegated from the competition without relegation, and have been replaced by Wolves.

United’s academy has been shut down. There is a now a centralised English football academy located in London, and players in the ages 18-19 bracket are being drafted to teams around Europe.

Photo by Matthew Ashton – AMA/Getty Images

RONALDO NEEDS TO STOP WHINING.

What Super League football will look like in 2025

This is the dystopian future created by the Super League and it is just getting wilder.

Disappointed by low attendances for United’s 13th game against Arsenal in two years, Super League owners snapped.

Fans are now banned from attending games, after the Glazers decided they did not like booing.

Instead, fans can attend games via virtual reality headsets at home, for a fee of £100 per game. The club’s fatcat owners are raking it in.

There is a manager, but its not Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. United have Wayne Rooney in charge after he won a X-Factor style public vote.

The manager is a figurehead. He shouts from the touchline, unable to yield any real power.

Substitutions are made in-game by fans, who vote via the club app, who to take off and who to bring on.

Football but not as we know it

Matches have now been condensed to 60 minutes. This allows Super League supremos to squeeze in two games in a single night. Don’t worry the players get plenty of breaks, the matches are split into four 15 minute quarters.

Mason Greenwood is now playing for Barcelona after being traded by the Glazers in exchange for a 40-year-old Lionel Messi.

After a 1-1 draw against Real Madrid, United secure fourth place in the 2025/26 Super League. Joyous scenes.

This secures United an extra draft pick for next year. Forget trophies, this is what we really wanted.

Football is on a slippery slope. The Super League is the beginning of the end of the beautiful game as we know it, and the reality could be even crazier and scarier than this.

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