There are likely a few dramatic conversations going on in the Manchester United boardroom right now.
While we aren’t privy to what is being discussed, here is how we imagine it may be going down…
“Avram, it’s Ed.”
“Ed, what’s up?”
“I need your help Avram, I’m screwed.”
“Don’t be so dramatic…”
“It’s the fans, they are threatening to burn me in a bonfire, and you too.”
“Well it doesn’t bother me, I never go to the stadium anyway.”
“Look we need a new signing. My PR guy says its the only way. We have to pay the money, otherwise I’m toast.”
“Well, we don’t have a lot of money at the moment really. Truthfully we never did.”
“Please Avram…”
“Ok I’ll speak to Joel and find a few extra million for the new player you want. We’ll take another loan out.”
“Thanks a lot, I’ll get some new noodle sponsors to make it up.”
“New wide receiver, right…”
*Silence*
“This is Ed at the Buccs?”
- Donald Trump will be at World Cup final, but US president’s Man Utd ‘connection’ is deeper than some might think
- Analysing how Marcus Rashford performed in England’s 6-4 win over France
- Lisandro Martinez has never taken penalty in his whole career, but this is what he could do in World Cup final
- Sir Jim Ratcliffe and Ineos have once again been vindicated with major Man Utd call, despite Wrexham defeat
- 14 things I liked and disliked from Man Utd vs Wrexham pre-season opener
Receive a digest of our best United content each week direct to your mailbox
