There are likely a few dramatic conversations going on in the Manchester United boardroom right now.

While we aren’t privy to what is being discussed, here is how we imagine it may be going down…

“Avram, it’s Ed.”

“Ed, what’s up?”

“I need your help Avram, I’m screwed.”

(Photo by John Peters/Man Utd via Getty Images)

“Don’t be so dramatic…”

“It’s the fans, they are threatening to burn me in a bonfire, and you too.”

“Well it doesn’t bother me, I never go to the stadium anyway.”


“Look we need a new signing. My PR guy says its the only way. We have to pay the money, otherwise I’m toast.”

“Well, we don’t have a lot of money at the moment really. Truthfully we never did.”

“Please Avram…”

“Ok I’ll speak to Joel and find a few extra million for the new player you want. We’ll take another loan out.”

“Thanks a lot, I’ll get some new noodle sponsors to make it up.”

“New wide receiver, right…”


“This is Ed at the Buccs?”

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