Goosing The Gossip: Perisic On His Way, Darmian On His Way Out?

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According to ESPN, Ivan Perišić is actually headed to Manchester after United and Inter Milan apparently agreed a deal which will see Matteo Darmian head the other way.

The agreement will reduce United’s fee to around £30m.

It seems as if this one will actually happen, folks, we’re of that belief anyway. Elsewhere in actual news, Sergio Romero signed a new contract.

Of course this will do little to dampen speculation that David De Gea might move after all. And to that end, the Sun insist that United will ask for Toni Kroos as part of any deal, this after weekend reports from the Express that Madrid will also look to offload Gareth Bale to try and generate the funds for Kylian Mbappe of Monaco.

In other news, it was reported that Jose Mourinho will continue to live in a hotel for the foreseeable future.

In news that interests us because we read gossip to bring this column to you, it is very intriguing to see that Liverpool might make a move for Van Dijk of Southampton after all.

This is akin to going in Woolworths to buy your pick and mix every week, and then one week, you decide to try and steal it. You get caught, you apologise, and no harm is done, apart from the fact you’ve had your grubby hands on it so no-one else will want those sweets. You say sorry and run away, thankful they didn’t call the cops. Normally that’s where the story ends. Because what you never did is went back into Woolworths, approached the person at the counter and said, ‘You know those sweets you can’t sell, I’ll buy them now,’ because they would almost certainly call the police.

Liverpool do have history with this kind of skullduggery as far as when it comes to transfers; remember them convincing Gabriel Heinze to get an arbitration meeting to try and force a move from Old Trafford to Anfield (spoiler, he failed, and went to Real Madrid, which is like begging your parents to take you to Skegness, and being refused because they’re taking you to Disney World), or that time they refused to accept Arsenal’s bid for Luis Suarez even though it met their release clause? We look forward to the no doubt severe punishment which will be handed out by the Premier League for their latest naughtiness. That will definitely happen.

Anyway. Until next time, gang!

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